How instructions fail to instruct

Sweating and close to tears I almost decided to give up…yes the instructions for the assembly of a sandpit had truly floored me! Why do they have to be so complicated? Why are they always in black and white so that all the smaller parts look really alike? Am I the only one who finds it all just terribly confusing?

You start off feeling fairly confident. The picture on the box makes assembly look pretty straight-forward. Should be done in five minutes you think, making the mistake of bringing your toddler along to watch. Ten minutes later you are cursing (or parent cursing so lots of oh sh…sugars and fu…fudge-pops- not quite as satisfying as the real thing let me tell you)and contemplating just walking away. You glance at your toddler, she is playing with the cat…hmm would she really notice if it just disappeared?

But then you remember your child has somehow acquired the memory of an elephant and you will never have another moment’s peace if you give up now. So you solider on promising yourself a nice glass of wine this evening. Soon the thoughts of that glass is all that is keeping you going. The instructions have blurred into one giant muddle and step number 6 looks like it should have come before step number 3. You have to start again. Nooooo!!!! Who writes these instructions? There must be a space in hell reserved for such sadists, you think, wrenching and pulling wrongly placed pieces apart.

You start again. More time seems to fly by. Your toddler is beginning to lose it and so are you. Then…finally….yes this looks right! It’s done!! Wow you have never felt prouder even graduating from college pales in comparison to this! Now if only it would stay together and not look dangerously close to toppling over…I’ll be having some wine if anyone wants me.

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